Divorce is an awful experience and it’s worse when children are involved. What does the bible say about divorce? Does the Bible even mention divorce? Is divorce an unforgivable sin?
My parents divorced when I was super young. I honestly don’t even recall my dad being part of our home life. He was around a bit but never truly part of our lives.
I have scant memories of spending time with him after I became a teenager. His departure and our parent’s divorce impacted my brothers and me differently. We all were impacted, however.
Divorce is not an unforgivable sin. It is brutally painful for all parties involved. Friendships are wrecked, children’s lives are radically altered, and divorce is financially burdensome. There is a ton to think about when divorce is on the table. Plus, God actually mentions it.
My biological father put the “Dad” in skedaddle
Unknown Pithy Person
I understand that divorce happens. It’s even possible that a divorce could be the best thing that could happen for some families.
It’s still painful, though.
In this brief post, I am going to uncover as many relevant Bible verses about divorce as I can. It’s my desire that someone contemplating divorce can have all of the scriptures in one spot — with minimal commentary from the peanut gallery.
WHY DO PEOPLE GET MARRIED
“You know what I am going to do? I am going to get married and then get divorced. That sounds like a barrel of monkeys,” Said no one ever!
We normally marry because we love the other person. Spending the rest of our lives with that person sounds invigorating and exciting. Living without that person seems unthinkable.
Divorce is rarely even considered when we’re planning a wedding. Who in their right mind would discuss divorce while planning a wedding?
Genesis 2:18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”
Genesis 2:24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
WHAT PERCENTAGE OF MARRIAGES END IN DIVORCE
Obtaining an accurate divorce rate is complicated. It’s safe to say that whatever it is, it is still too high. Most statistics have divorce rates between 39% and 50%.
Some states have higher divorce rates than others. The states with the five highest divorce rates are Arkansas, Oklahoma, Nevada, New Mexico, and Kentucky.
Contrary to popular belief, the divorce rate among Christians is not the same as our non-Christian counterparts. However, it’s still too high.
Premarital Counseling
This might seem a bit out of place, but it’s not.
We must align ourselves with a person who is spiritually similar. Don’t think that they “will come around to Jesus” after the wedding.
II Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
Luke 14:27-29 And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it— lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him.
Truly think through the cost of marriage. The apostle Paul often discouraged it.
GOD HATES DIVORCE
I believe that God hates divorce because it is so violent. There is a shredding of hearts and souls.
Malachi 2:16 “For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with violence,” says the Lord of armies. “So be careful about your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”
ADULTERY AND DIVORCE IN THE BIBLE
Matthew 5:27-28 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Matthew 5:31-32 “Now it was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away is to give her a certificate of divorce; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Mark 10:10-12 When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE
I Corinthians 7:39-40 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment—and I think I also have the Spirit of God.
Romans 7:2-3 For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. So then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man.
BIBLE VERSES ABOUT DIVORCE
Matthew 19:3-6 Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.”
GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE
Are there Biblical grounds for divorce? Yes, but they are rare.
Matthew 19:7-9 They said to Him, “Why, then, did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning, it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
I Corinthians 7:13-14 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
Regrettably, one of the most famous “marriage preacher” has recently introduced new “grounds” for divorce. Not all are biblical, though. Some of them are, but others he simply shoehorns into his teaching out of convenience.
SCRIPTURES ABOUT DIVORCE
I Corinthians 7:10-12 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. To the rest, I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.
RESPONSIBILITIES IN MARRIAGE
Ephesians 5:22-23 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
Ephesians 5:25-28 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Ephesians 5:31 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Titus 2:4-5 And so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
REASONS FOR DIVORCE
Divorce, even when it’s Biblical and there are valid reasons will be excruciating. It’s a decision that should not be taken lightly. Children, although resilient, never truly recover.
If you’re in the “divorce decision matrix” make sure you’re being counseled properly and are considering all of your options. The future is big. Making a permanent decision based on temporary discomfort could be devastating to you, your spouse, and your children.
Here is an exhaustive teaching on divorce, and remarriage by Mike Winger. If you’re considering divorce it will be worth your effort to listen. It’s a few hours long but it is broken down into chapters.
Having said all of that, divorce is not the “unforgivable sin” as some have declared. A marriage should not be ended flippantly or without consideration of every alternative.
Here’s an article that I wrote on redemption.
Benediction
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.