Thousands of well-intentioned Christians have failed at hosting a small group. Their heart was right. The house was scrubbed top to bottom. They even prayed! Yet, no one showed up. Or the meeting was a snooze fest. I want to share some secrets on how to host an awesome small group.
Small groups are meetings scheduled outside of a normally scheduled worship service. These groups meet as a supplement and addition to Sunday worship. There are four specific priorities for an awesome small group: doctrine, fellowship, breaking of bread, and prayer.
Horizon Christian Fellowship — San Diego, CA
I surrendered my wretched life to Christ on Father’s Day of 1992 at Horizon Christian Fellowship. The next week I began attending a small group. I showed up not knowing anything about God. My biggest fear was that someone would ask me to pray or read something out of the Bible.
Thankfully neither happened.
I observed.
The group was discussing Nehemiah. I found the whole thing fascinating. People were meeting in homes (normal people) and talking about Jesus. Nothing stuffy. No one shaking down the saints for an extra dollar. It was amazing to me.
Unfortunately, the next few churches I attended (I moved to Michigan) didn’t have small groups. We eventually moved to Illinois and became entrenched in a church that did small groups well.
I now believe that small groups are indispensable in the life of a Christian.
How To Host An Awesome Small Group — Practicals
We hosted groups for a couple of years. We never had a shortage of people and often were bordering on too many people. When the group gets to be more than fifteen it’s a bit too large.
We did our best to make our home as comfortable and convenient as possible for our guests. People are super busy. We all have competing priorities so there needs to be a good reason for someone to add another thing to their overwhelmed calendar.
We offered hot tea and coffee. The kettle was on and the coffee was brewed. To make things even easier we actually fed the crew each week. I get that there are budgetary constraints. We kept it super simple and frugal.
A pot of soup, stew or something similar was ready to eat when people walked through the doors. This extra step took the pressure off those who worked late or couples who both worked outside of the home.
We’d say, “One thing we want to do is make this as easy for you as possible. Please show up and walk right in and join us. We’re going to share a meal together and then go into the living room to conclude the evening. There will be tea, coffee, and water. Please help yourself.”
The first night we’d show the location of the bathrooms. Encourage everyone to help themselves to coffee, tea, or water and show them where the cups, mugs, and glasses were located.
As soon as they walked through the door we’d greet them joyfully and let them know how much we appreciated them finding the time to join us.
How To Host An Awesome Small Group — Food
Food is the great equalizer. Something fascinating happens when we eat together. A familial atmosphere begins. Probably not the first time. Eventually, it will happen, though.
Keep the food simple. If you try to complicate things then the meal becomes more important than the real reason we’re gathering.
I realize everyone can’t cook for twelve people each week. Do what you can and keep the stress to a minimum.
The house is ready. Coffee is brewing and the kettle is whistling. There’s a Crockpot full of your grandma’s stew simmering.
What now?
How To Host An Awesome Small Group — Doctrine
Doctrine? Seriously bro?
Yes, doctrine.
Acts 2:42 (NKJV) And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers.
Most translations use “apostle’s teaching” rather than “apostle’s doctrine” but they’re basically the same.
Why should a small group focus on doctrine? Small groups are a great place to dig into the Bible. Most churches simply scratch the theological surface. Intimate groups can study these complex subjects and challenge one another when appropriate.
2 Timothy 4:3 For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.
We as Christians do a great job of sharing what we believe. Rarely are we capable of sharing why we believe certain Biblical concepts.
Why do you believe the Bible is the infallible, inspired Word of God? If pressed by an atheist or agnostic could you share your convictions?
Peter wrote in his first epistle that we should be ready to provide a defense for the hope that is in us.
Can you?
Are you a Trinitarian? Why?
Do you believe that the gifts of the Spirit are active or stopped with the death of the Apostles? Why?
Small groups are great opportunities to tackle these theologically thorny issues.
I recommend steering clear of discussing the Sunday sermon. It’s inevitable that there will be sycophants or churlish. Plus, if someone wasn’t at church on Sunday they’re totally disengaged from the discussion.
How To Host An Awesome Small Group — Fellowship
Fellowship is less about playing cards and more about trusting another with your life. If you’ve ever read Tolkien or watched the Lord Of The Rings trilogy you know what I mean. Frodo and his band of misfits were known as the Fellowship of the Ring.
Their sole purpose? Get the ring to Mount Doom so it could be destroyed. Pain, suffering, and death was experienced by the fellowship.
Philippians 3:10-11 My goal is to know him and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of his sufferings, being conformed to His death, assuming that I will somehow reach the resurrection from among the dead.
There is nothing wrong with having church potlucks and barbecues. Fellowship goes much deeper than hanging out and stuffing our faces.
Small groups will eventually grow close and trust will develop. When one member suffers we all suffer. Yes, this happens in the church as well. However, if your church is over 100 people you won’t be friends with them all.
Small groups can meet practical needs. We would help one another move and provide meals when a member was sick.
We moved from Illinois about six months ago and returned for a visit recently. The most refreshing time we had was spending time with our friends from our old small group.
How To Host An Awesome Small Group — Break Bread
I believe that breaking bread in Acts 2:42 is more akin to receiving communion than having a meal. Personally, I’m not a big fan of receiving communion as a subset of the greater church. My views pertaining to that are evolving, though.
I highly recommend truly understanding the sacrament of communion prior to introducing it to a small group. If it’s simply a perfunctory duty then resist wading into that dangerous territory.
Receiving the wine and bread is a HUGE DEAL and should never be done flippantly.
A small group is a great opportunity to dig deep into this holy act.
How To Host An Awesome Small Group — Prayer
It will take a while but comfort levels will increase in your small group. As they do, the prayer requests will become more vulnerable and raw.
This part cannot be forced and must happen organically. One night my wife shared a very personal part of our life as a prayer request. When that happened, the floodgates were open.
Our friends realized that we, like them, had our own set of struggles. We needed them and they needed us. What was shared could not have been shared at the end of Sunday service with the prayer team. No son, this required total trust all the way around.
Pray for one another through the week. Take time to share and celebrate answered prayers.
How To Host An Awesome Small Group — Remain Flexible
We typically hosted our small groups on Sunday evenings. Our doors opened at 4:45 (for any early birds) but officially began at 5:00 pm with our meal. The festivities “officially” ended at 7:00 pm and we honored that time.
However, we always allowed anyone to stay behind to chat, pray or share. There were some nights that we didn’t close things down until midnight. We are in this position to bless and serve people. That isn’t usually on a set schedule.
Go with the flow and love well.
There is a ton more to know about how to host an awesome small group. This will give you a decent idea of how to start.
One more important thing. If your church leadership is only partially committed to the small group concept it won’t work.
Pastors who attend or host a small group will have a church that supports them. Go all in only if the pastor and leadership are fully supportive and committed to the small group concept.
Blessings!
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.
